if i just lay here (would you lie with me and just forget the world?)
by ekpeaky
Summary: This is soft. Really soft. But I couldn't help myself. [Charity/Vanessa] [Vanessa lingers there on her knees for a minute just taking the moment in. She leans over and ghosts a whisper of a kiss on Johnny's head and then kisses Charity long and soft - earning a sleepy sigh and a small smile from her girlfriend]


**I had this sweet scene in my head of Vanessa finding Charity and Johnny asleep together and I had to write it down. How it turned into this I do not know.**

 **I own nothing. Just taking liberties with perfectly crafted characters.**

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Vanessa is weary. Bone tired and exhausted. It's been three months since her suspension and ever since then she has been picking up the slack for the two practising vets by being at their beck and call practically day and night. In the immediate aftermath of the suspension she had been swept up in supporting Charity and Tracy and once things had settled down she, Rhona and Paddy had agreed that as a partner in the surgery she couldn't just walk away - suspension or no suspension. Ever since she has had the distinct pleasure of doing their running around for them. Early morning deliveries, late night animal sittings following emergency surgeries, office admin, reigning in Pearl; all to ensure that the only two practising vets can get their rest. She's a glorified assistant – it's humiliating and frustrating. However she is glaringly aware that even having this option makes her _lucky_ \- or something like it. She's made it her mission to pull her socks up, keep her head down and suck it up. After all, this mess was all her own doing.

 _Tonight was supposed to go so, so differently_ , Vanessa sighs to herself as she pulls the door to the surgery closed behind her and steps out in the crisp, early morning. She'd had plans to spend the evening with Johnny. For someone suspended from work for twelve months she felt like she had barely seen him. She had decided that after their early tea with Moses and Charity at the pub, they were going to go home and have warm chocolate milk and a glass of wine respectively and lay on the sofa and watch the Trolls movie, preferably not shifting until Johnny fell asleep and Vanessa could - without shame - steal as many snuggles from her boy as she liked.

Vanessa can't help the small smile that graces her lips at the thought of Charity. Tonight – no, _last night now_ – had been Charity's night with Moses, and following an intense and emotional few months in the aftermath of DI Bails' re-emergence, they had yet to do a sleepover with the kids. Charity had stayed at hers with Johnny there and she had stayed at the pub with _everybody_ there, but up till now blending their families in such a determined way had seemed a step too far too quickly.

Last night they had met at the Woolpack with the two toddlers for tea. Vanessa smiles to herself at memory of the disgustingly domestic normalcy of it all. Her plans for the evening were going without a hitch until she got a call from Paddy alerting her to an emergent case he was having to attend.

" _V, its Paddy. I hate to do this –"_

" _-don't say it then. Paddy please!" Vanessa cut him off with a desperate whimper, dropping her fork onto her plate with a clatter. She knew with a desperate surety what he was about to say._

" _I'm on my way up to the Helmsworth farm," he ignores her but continues with the barest hint of sympathy in his voice for what he's asking of her even before he's asked it._

" _It's Dora, she's fitting apparently. Seizures. I reckon she's going to need admitting tonight. It's going to take an hour to get there, a good hour to assess her. Then I'll have to drive back, treat her at the surgery if necessary. It's going to be late and I have to be back in at 6am tomorrow." He stops for breath._

" _You're about to ask me to ditch my date with my boy and the sofa and my blanket and my wine aren't you? To watch the Helmsworth's bloody sheep dog's bloody vitals all night!" Vanessa practically wails down the phone, leaning back in her chair with her arm flung over her eyes. She literally cannot bear the thought of what he's asking of her._

" _Yes." He confirms and she can practically hear him grimacing down the phone as he nods his head._

 _She doesn't have enough energy to process that he hates asking this of her. "Fine. Just text me when you need me to head over to play skivvy for you." She hangs up without a goodbye and throws her phone on the table in front of her._

 _Vanessa looks up and sees Charity glancing at her in between helping Moses spear a chip on his fork. "Everything okay, babe?" Charity asks with obvious caution. She can sense her girlfriend is feeling particularly fractious._

" _Obviously not." Vanessa snaps. Charity's raised eyebrow is enough to draw contrition out of her fairly quickly. With regret she mutters a quiet, "sorry," and receives nothing but more raised eyebrows in silent question._

 _Vanessa leans over to spoon some peas into Johnny's mouth. "Paddy needs me to do an over-nighter. He has to be back at the surgery first thing and there is a desperately ill sheep dog that needs monitoring apparently."_

 _As she says this her eyes widen in panic as it occurs to her that she has absolutely no childcare for the evening. "Oh for fu – Gods sake. What do I do with Johnny?! Dad and Megan are away! Tracy is currently at home getting dolled up for a night out that she very well deserves. What the hell am I supposed to do?!" She's working herself up into crisis levels of hysterical very quickly and elbows on table rests her head in her hands and tries to take some deep breaths._

 _Somewhere deep down she knows she's over reacting but she literally feels on the verge of falling apart. No one prepared her for this when she decided to let Kirin walk away from his responsibilities – how hard it would be to be a single mum. How it feels impossible to balance all the pieces of yourself with the needs of the little one that depends on you. The last three months have really taken it out of her and on top of it all, now she feels like a failure of a mother because she has had to at least try and scrape some modicum of self-respect back from losing her job._

" _I can't ask Rhona again, she's had him twice this week already and he's not her bloody responsibility." She mutters at the table, still not looking up. Forgetting the others at the table who are sat watching her downward spiral with quiet curiosity._

 _Charity, having observed the meltdown for quite long enough leans over Moses to wipe his face free of gravy and says "Babe, you need to chill. This is not a catastrophe"._

 _Vanessa lifts her head and glares at Charity, anger simmering just below the surface at Charity's dismissal of the problem._

" _Oh right" she bites, "and I suppose you'll watch him then?" She asks with thinly veiled sarcasm. Internally she knows she's about to take her mood out on Charity when she definitely doesn't deserve it, but she feels unable to stop. She feels like she's watching a car without breaks, driving headlong into a wall and she can't for the life of her look away – she can't stop watching herself spoiling for a fight._

 _Charity for her part seems to be learning something about being in a relationship with Vanessa. She's beginning to pick up on the nuances of Vanessa's moods. She knows when to push and she has learnt to measure when to stop pushing and step back. Their rows are spectacular when they happen, but tonight she knows this isn't really about her and she musters all of her strength to keep a straight face and measured tone when she responds, "Might as well. I've got Moses here anyway."_

 _Vanessa simmers down. Registers guilt at being so cross with her girlfriend who is just trying to help. "No, Charity. It's not fair. Just because we're together you shouldn't have to provide childcare."_

 _Charity reaches over the table and gently takes Vanessa's hand in hers. "Babe, its fine. Honestly. How much more work can one extra toddler be?!" She says with a playful roll of her eyes that manages to draw the barest hint of a smile from her girlfriend._

" _Are you sure?" Vanessa whispers, all her reluctance and bluster leaving her as she realises she's too tired to maintain them._

With the agreement settled they had finished up their meals and took a walk to the playground to let the boy's burn off some energy, before Charity had sent her packing back to Tug Ghyll for an hour of peace before work. They'd parted with a lingering kiss and foreheads pressed together and a promise from Vanessa to drop an overnight bag off at the pub for Johnny on her way in to the surgery.

Paddy had relieved her at 5.45am. Her eyes were stinging and she was desperate to crawl into bed. The night had progressed slowly and the sheepdog had remained stable with no need for Vanessa to call out Paddy or Rhona to administer to him. _A complete waste of my time really_ , she bitterly thinks before shaking it off. She doesn't want to drag herself down into the pit of despair she'd been in yesterday.

She glances at her watch as she approaches the pub. 6.04 am. Chas is out front with a delivery driver sorting through the crates and checking the inventory. She smiles at Vanessa as she draws closer and Vanessa flicks her hand in a half-hearted attempt at a good morning.

"Don't think madam will be up any time soon." Chas reports with a gleeful smile on her face.

Vanessa only raises her eyebrows in question, with little energy to form words she doesn't even bother to try.

"Boys ran her absolutely ragged yesterday. It was fantastic to watch." Chas cackles. Then her smile softening at the exhaustion she registers on Vanessa's face, she nods towards the pub. "You look knackered love, go on and get to bed. I'll see you later."

Vanessa simply smiles and nods and with another quick flick of her wrist she carries on walking, eager to kiss her son and climb into bed with a sleepy Charity.

She enters through back door, bypassing the lounge but as she glances through the door she can see evidence of Chas' summation that Charity had indeed had her hands full. Johnny's bag is on the floor with his belongings spewed all over. Coats and shoes haphazardly lay where they had clearly been dropped. She shakes her head with a small smile and shrugs out of her own jacket hanging it and her bag over the bannister. She toes off her shoes and kicks them to the side of the stair case and begins the ascent up the stairs as quietly as she can so as not to wake anyone.

At the top of the stairs she slowly pushes the door to Moses' bedroom open and listens to make sure there is sign of anyone waking. Hearing nothing she presses forward into the room. She smiles at Moses sprawled in his bed, one hand with a fist clenched above his head and the other with his thumb in his mouth. She gently pulls his blanket over to cover him lightly and turns to the travel cot behind her expecting to see her son in a similar position. She frowns when she sees the cot is empty save only for a bawled up blanket. Smothering her instinct to panic she retreats from the room and pulls the door gently closed behind her.

When she reaches Charity's room she pushes the door open gently and is immediately stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. Her heart literally feels like it might burst out of her chest and she touches her fingers to her smile as if her smile will give her away and wake the sleeping beauties before her. Charity is on her side, duvet kicked off to her waist and blonde hair wild on the pillows; her body protectively tucked around her little boy. Johnny too is fast asleep, curled into Charity with his little fist grasping at the front of her vest top. Charity's arm wrapped around him and her hand on his back holding her protectively to her body.

The only sound is Vanessa's heartbeat thudding in her ears and Johnny's little snores filling the air. Tears spring to her eyes and she swipes at them and moves closer kneeling by the bed. Aiming to try and quickly and quietly extricate Johnny and bravely attempt to put him back in his cot without waking him, she moves to lift Charity's arm from around him. Charity stirs at the touch and blinks up at Vanessa.

"Leave him." She whispers still half asleep and tightening her grip around him. Closing her eyes again.

Vanessa lingers there on her knees for a minute just taking the moment in. She leans over and ghosts a whisper of a kiss on Johnny's head and then kisses Charity long and soft - earning a sleepy sigh and a small smile from her girlfriend - before pulling back and standing again. She sheds her clothing until she too is in only a t-shirt and underwear and makes her way around the bed to slip in behind Charity. She reaches her arm over the top of Charities and it joins her in holding Johnny protectively against her. Charity has already fallen back asleep, her soft snores mingling in the air with Johnny's.

Vanessa is weary. Bone tired and exhausted. But for the next few minutes she just lies there wondering when the hell this moment had become everything she had ever wanted.

 **Fin.**

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 **So I have zero experience with vets or how a village surgery would run. But for the sake of the story I took liberties and gave Vanessa a sort of Vet's assistant role, to keep her hand in at the surgery. Don't shoot me.**

 **I haven't written anything remotely fictional in over a decade. It's unpolished and un-beta'd but I had this stuck in my head and had to get it down. What these women are doing to me.**

 **Hope it's enjoyable.**


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